


To Lie or Not To Lie

by gapevinenerd



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Child Abuse, Ends relatively happy, Janus is a compulsive liar, Janus needs a hug, Just yelling, M/M, Patton is a good Dad, Referenced Child Abuse, Referenced Eating disorder, Virgil broke up with Janus, We don’t actually see anything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:49:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24153844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gapevinenerd/pseuds/gapevinenerd
Summary: Janus wanted to cry. He also wanted to laugh, but that would’ve done more harm than crying. Most of all, he wanted to run.He didn’t want this. Just when it seemed like things were getting better….Janus has always been a liar. He lied about his health, he lied about his family, he lied about a lot of things. Especially to Virgil.So when he runs into his ex’s dad while escaping his mother, what can he do but lie?But Janus will soon learn that he can’t lie his way out of everything. And he can’t stop the force of Patton Rai.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 13
Kudos: 136





	To Lie or Not To Lie

**Author's Note:**

> Hey...  
> Dunno what to say here.  
> “Rai” means “storm” and “Dolion” means “Deceit” so  
> References abuse and other triggers so read at your own risk.
> 
> Hope you like it

Janus wanted to cry. He also wanted to laugh, but that would’ve done more harm than crying. Most of all, he wanted to run.

He didn’t want this. Just when it seemed like things were getting better….

“V-Virgil?” He said quietly. Janus knew his ex had left him weeks ago, but he couldn’t help yearning for him.

Now he was faced with sheer terror and the one person who knew about it wanted him dead.

Janus fought back tears and breathed heavily. _It’s okay,_ he told himself. _It’s okay because in an hour or two everything will go back to normal and you’ll be fine._

He scoffed quietly. _Liar._

Virgil had left him because of it. He was a liar. He knew it, Virgil knew it, Remus knew it. Hell, even his parents knew it, damn them.

Janus had lied about his health , physical and mental. He had lied to his best friends and boyfriend about his home life. He’d said it was okay, that his mom and dad took great care of him and loved each other. He’d said that it was perfect; not the shitshow unfolding around him.

The yelling could be heard all over the house. Janus flinched every time an object was thrown. He shuddered at every yell. Soon he couldn’t bare to hear it anymore and slammed his palms against his ears.

But this did nothing for the tension or the fear that radiated through his home.

Soon the yelling reached a climax and abruptly stopped with the slamming of the back door.

Janus stood slowly, shrinking deeper into his jacket. He started to approach his door when he heard the back door open again.

“JANUS!”

 _Shit._ He quickly locked the door and stumbled to his window. He fiddled with the lock a few times before it unlatched, and he climbed out, sprinting across the yard.

“JANUS!!” His mother’s enraged yelling came from inside the house, but Janus was already over the fence.

There was that instinctive feeling of victory in his escape, but it just as quickly melted into terror. He couldn’t go home, that’s for sure, so where? He was just a sixteen-year-old running around and looking absolutely terrified.

Probably _terrifying_ , too. His burn wound was starting to scar on the left side of his face. Damn Remus and his flammable liquids.

He was reminded of his situation and felt extremely overwhelmed. Tears started to pool in his eyes, and he raised an arm to wipe them away.

That’s when he ran into someone.

“Woah! You alright, Kiddo?”

Janus stumbled back and looked up in surprise. “S-Sorry, I wasn’t looking…”

A man with dirty blonde hair stood in front of him. He wore a blue polo shirt with a grey cardigan tied around his shoulders. “Don’t worry about it! It was partially my fault.”

Janus nodded and turned, prepared to go on his way.

“Hey, are… are you okay?” The man reached to touch his shoulder. Janus jerked away.

He realized that his burn wound had opened in some places and he was bleeding. He cursed quietly.

“Where is that burn from?”

Janus was surprised that the man cared. “My friend and I were playing around with some stuff we probably shouldn’t have been playing with. No big deal.”

The man looked concerned. “What’re you running from, Kiddo?”

Janus panicked. Then he calmed down and reminded himself of what he did best— lie. “Oh, um, j-just out on a run, sir…”

He winced at his stammering. He was too shaken to form a lie, and he knew the man could tell.

“What’s your name?”

“J-Janus. Janus Dolion.”

“I’m Patton Rai.” The man extended his hand, and Janus instinctively flinched back before shaking it hesitantly.

“Um, did you say Rai?”

“Yes, why?” Patton asked.

“Hi, Pa, Dad told me to—“

The two turned to see a teenager with dark hair, stopped mid-step. He was wearing a fashionably torn shirt under a purple, heavy jacket, and ripped black jeans.

“Um— Dee?” He blinked.

“Hey, Virgil,” Patton said. He turned all the way around. “I thought you were with your dad?”

“Yeah, h-he had some work stuff— I’m sorry, what are you doing here, Dee?”

“Um…” Janus looked between the two. “I…”

“What, can’t think of a lie this time?” Virgil said. His voice was deadpan but laced with venom.

“Virge, I just ran into Janus; do you know him?” Patton asked.

_So he didn’t tell his dad about me._

“Yeah, I… I know him.” Virgil’s eyes were still on Janus. “I, uh… I dated Dee a while ago.”

“You _dated_ him?” Patton looked surprised. “Also, I thought his name was Janus.”

“It is,” Virgil said. His glare didn’t waver.

Janus took a step back. “W-well, I’ll be going now, s-see you later, Virgil.”

“Sure.” Virgil’s eyes were narrowed.

“Hey, wait a minute, Kiddo, that burn looks pretty bad. Do you need to fix it up?” Patton interjected. “My husband is good at treating wounds.”

“Um…” That was all Janus could say.

“Pop, I-I really don’t think…” Virgil started.

“C’mon, Kiddo, you guys know each other, it’ll be fine!”

Janus and Virgil exchanged a look before the emo turned away. “Whatever.”

Janus followed the fatherly man as he walked. “Um, thanks, Mr. Rai.”

Patton chuckled. “No problem, Kiddo! We’ll get you home as soon as possible.”

Janus tried to mask his fear at that word. That wretched word. The word that should feel safe but instead made him feel nauseous. _Home._

“Um, yeah.”

When they arrived at Virgil’s house (bigger than Janus had expected), Patton introduced Janus to his husband, Logan.

“It is nice to meet you, Janus.” The teacher had spoken in monotone. Janus respected how blunt and robotic Logan was— so unlike his kind, energetic husband.

“Um, you too, sir.”

Once Logan had successfully cleaned and bandaged Janus’ burn, they both went back downstairs.

Janus froze. Virgil was on the couch, staring straight at him. The two stood like that before Virgil sighed and grudgingly waved him over. Janus sat beside him.

“Did Remus do that?” Virgil gestured to his face.

“Well, it was kinda both of us,” Janus admitted. “Let’s just leave it at… I’m never trusting Remus with a lighter again.”

Virgil nodded, then fidgeted a bit. “Is… is everything okay at home? I-I know you don’t want anyone to know, but…” Virgil dropped his voice. “That’s why you were running, right?”

Janus hesitated, then nodded. “…Yeah.”

Virgil’s brow was furrowed with intense worry. “She hurt you this time?”

“No, I got out before.” Janus looked at the floor. “Thanks. For, y’know, asking.”

“Yeah.” Virgil put his earbuds back in and adopted his signature resting face, which happened to be a scowl.

Eventually Janus couldn’t take the silence. “What’re you listening to?”

Virgil looked up at him and sighed. He handed him a bud and said, “Look, Dee, I know you wanna get back together, but I…” He sighed again. “I dunno, I just… honesty is a big part of what I want in a relationship, a-and, it’s a big part of what you _can’t do._ ”

Janus winced. “I know. I’m not saying you’re wrong, but is it really that bad that I didn’t want you knowing what was going on at home?”

Virgil glanced over at him. “…It wasn’t just that, Dee. You said you didn’t eat ‘cause you weren’t hungry. You said that you were perfectly fine when Remus found you crying in the bathroom. You couldn’t tell the truth when I asked you what was going on.”

“I wasn’t okay!” Janus said quickly. “I wasn’t okay, and if I’m being honest, I’m sure as hell not okay now, Virgil.” His voice cracked and he pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m sorry if I pushed you to get back together, I know you need time and I need to work some stuff out, a-and I’m willing to stay away if that helps.”

“I’m just worried about you, Dee.” Virgil said quietly. “I never know what’s going on.”

“I just…” Janus sighed. “I’m sorry. I am. It’s just fighting now, yelling, but…” he lowered his voice. “I’m scared, okay? I’ve seen her get violent and it’s not good and usually she turns on me, but what about my dad? Sure, he’s a dick and I don’t really love him but he really does like her and what if she hurts him?” His rambling stopped and he put a hand over his mouth and inwardly cursed himself. He hadn’t meant to burst out like that.

Virgil was staring at him. _Great. I probably freaked him out._

But then his eyes softened. “What can I do?”

Janus shrugged. “Not really anything. Just… check on me every few days? Sometimes it… gets hard.”

Virgil nodded. “Yeah. I’ll do that.”

Patton walked in from the kitchen. “Hey, Janus, did Logan fix you up, Kiddo?”

“Um, yeah,” Janus couldn’t help but smile— this man radiated happiness.

“When do you think you’ll be ready to go home?”

Janus stiffened. “I-I dunno, I did-didn’t really, um, plan that far…”

Virgil glanced over at his dad and quickly shook his head. Patton’s eyes widened and he stepped closer.

“Janus, Kiddo, are you… okay?”

Janus felt Virgil’s hand tighten on his own, and that gave him the courage to say what he said next.

“N-not really…”

Patton frowned and sat down in a chair across from the two. “Janus, honey, is everything okay at home? Logan had his suspicions, but…”

Janus felt fear churn in his stomach and he looked at Virgil. He knew his eyes were wide and frantic, but Virgil just shrugged, as if to say, _It’s up to you_.

And in that moment, Janus knew this was a test. A cruel, twisted test from God, or Buddha, or the universe, or Walt Disney, or whatever higher power was up there.

To lie.

Or not to lie.

Janus took a deep breath and made his decision.

“No.”

*

The next day at school, Janus was walking down the hall when someone tapped his shoulder. “Hiya, Dee!”

A green and black-clad teenager with a bleached streak in his brown hair jumped in front of him and proceeded to walk backwards.

“Hey, Remus.” Janus gave a small smile.

“Hey, sorry about your face, again.” Remus winked. “But I still think you’re hot.”

Janus sighed. “Too early, Rem.”

“Sorry.” Remus pivoted and walked beside him. “If it makes you feel better, Virge told me to give you something.”

Janus looked up at him. “R-really?”

“Yep,” Remus tossed a small package to him, and Janus just barely caught it.

“What is this?” Janus murmured. He opened it to find a pair of earbuds nestled into the wrapping paper. Under them was a note in messy handwriting.

_My best noise-canceling ones. For when things get too hard._

_-Virgil._

Janus sighed and smiled. “Thanks.”

“I’m just the messenger,” Remus said, looking over his shoulder to read the note. Janus shoved him away. Remus just laughed.

Then he turned serious. “Hey, Dee, you doin’ okay?”

Janus looked over at his friend. He remembered Remus’ look of shock and guilt after Janus had gotten burned. He remembered the long phone calls and reassurances after he’d broken up with Virgil. But most of all he remembered that bright, mischievous grin and that prideful smirk that he looked at Janus with.

Janus smiled. “Yeah. I’m okay.”

And that wasn’t a lie.


End file.
